The stories our bridesmaid dresses would tell..

Being part of a friends wedding is such a special experience and quite frankly really fucking entertaining.  From the bridal showers and bachelorette parties to the actual wedding day to meeting every single one of their grade school friends and family you get to know that friend from the inside and out all wrapped up in a pretty bow.

Being in the wedding comes with some responsibility and you leave with so many stories to tell.  Here is some of what you can expect at most weddings as quoted by Bridesmaids.

This is the most special day in a woman’s life so even the chilliest bride may have some extravagant ideas.  From the destination shower’s, bachelorette parties and weddings to the gifts and the day of dress and hair it can get expensive.  I have spent $1,000’s of dollars being in friends weddings. The one thing you can also generally count on is that one cheep friend who tries to get out of paying for some of the costs.

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You will get to meet your friends crazy aunts, cousins, high school friends etc.  Theres always a wide range of friends and family at weddings which provides most of the entertainment, stories and frustrations.

Megan: This is some classy sh-…

[burp]

Megan: I want to apologize. I’m not even confident on which end that came out of.

The maid of honor goes through many ups and downs when planning all of the festivities.  This is the biggest day in their friends life. They also may not have the finances to plan everything they want.  Don’t forget, they are the ones typically dealing with those crazy friends and family’s opinions. (see above)

Officer Nathan Rhodes: You’re like the maid of dishonor.

Someone always hates the bridesmaids dresses that were picked out either because of price, style or just lack of body confidence.

Megan: “The dress is so pretty it makes my stomach hurt.”

There are always spills on the dress or hair and makeup issues the day of the wedding. I had a friend spill half a bottle of nail polish on her dress 10 minutes before pictures.

Whitney: Oh, no! Don’t you dare ruin that dress!
Helen: Boy, you really doing it, aren’t ya? You’re just shittin’ in the street.

There is always that really long awkward speech, the bridesmaid, father or groomsmen, doesn’t matter who but someone will.

Helen: I went to Thailand recently with my husband, Perry, and there’s a beautiful saying that I learned there.

[Speaking Thai]

Helen: It means, “You are a part of me, a part that I could never live without. And I hope and I pray that I never have to.” Khob-kun-Ka

[Bows to the crowd]

Helen: khob-kun-Ka, khob-kun-Ka. And that’s it for tonight! Thank you for coming!

Annie: [interjecting] Really quick!

Helen: Thank you all for coming. The dessert wine is out.

Annie: I just wanted to say really quick.

Helen: [calling out] Consuelo!

Annie: Really quick! Speaking of Consuelo, Lillian and I took Spanish together in school. And so, I would just like to say to you and to everyone here, “Gracias para vivar en la casa, en la escuelas, en… en la azul… “markada”. Tienes con “bibir” en las Fortuashla?” and gracias!

People always reflect on their own lives when they are in weddings.  Why aren’t they married? I remember when we were that happy.  I wish our wedding day was this nice. I wish we could do it all over again.

Megan: I’m life, Annie, and I’m biting you in the ass!

There are always hookup stories.  Whether it is someone in the bridal party or someone attending the wedding.

I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.

Megan from Bridesmaids

Someone always gets sick from too much drinking, stress or not enough sleep.  Usually, too much drinking.

ANNIE:  I just feel like I’m excited…and I feel relaxed…and I’m ready….to paaaaaartyyyyy! With the best of them…And I’m gonna go down to the river!

There is always that friend that thinks they should have been the maid of honor.

Annie: “Are you fucking kidding me? Mother fucking paris? What, are you gonna go to Paris, just go to Paris with Helen and ride around on bikes with fucking bagettes? Oh, how romantic… You know what I’m thinkin’; Lesbians! Who else was thinkin’ it. And what’s that FUCKING cookie? Did you ACTUALLY think that THIS group of women would eat THAT cookie… you know what, that reminds me, I haven’t had a chance to try that FUCKING cookie…

In the end, you are all connected through that one friendship which makes this experience so unique and fun!

Lillian: This is such a stone-cold pack of weirdos, and I am so proud!

A look back at some of the weddings I have been in..

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